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A College Dorm Limits Crossdressing

March 11, 2012

When I went to college, I had never bought anything for myself.  I did not own any clothes of my own.  Over the years, I had kept pantyhose that I found in the trash, etc.  However, I did not keep them very long term.  So I had no clothes with me in college, nor did I have any privacy.  Since I wanted to stop crossdressing, I kind of enjoyed having the separation.  I did not go home very often because of the long drive.  When I did go home, I would probably put something on at some point over the weekend or long holiday, etc.

I have considered not mentioning the sexual side of my crossdressing.  By that, I mean the self gratification.  Yet, I said that I wanted to paint an honest, complete picture of my crossdressing journey.  Therefore, I am going to force myself to express the uncomfortably personal truth.  I am sorry that it has come up so much in my previous posts.  I have tried to use gentle terms so that I could be honest but not crude.  I expect that self gratification will be mentioned going forward as the truth requires.

During this point in my life, there was a one to one correspondence between dressing and self gratification.  I would dress, and enjoy the feel and appearance of whatever clothes I tried on.  Then later I would please myself.  After I had “released”, I felt ashamed and dirty.  I would take off the clothes and return them to their place.  I always regretted my actions.

Since I would not dress until I went home from college, I was not “releasing” very often.  At most, I went home once a month.  That is a long time between episodes.

During my sophomore or maybe junior year of college, I developed another way of achieving completion.  Literally, this was the first time I had gratified myself where nylon or spandex was not involved.  It was helpful to have another means of dealing with that stuff.  I was at the age where my hormones were peaking.  I was not sexually active.  I was holding on to my virginity because it belonged to my wife.  The result was that I was rather “charged up” until I finally started releasing some of that stuff from my body.

Even though I was not wearing any womens’ wear during my releases, I was thinking about them.  Always, I had to think about something to make it work.  I believe a lot of guys think about having sex with a woman, or think about some other “exciting” thing about a woman when they gratify themselves.  I never have been drawn to sexual thoughts during these events.  I would normally think about something that I had never done before, like wear certain garment, or tell someone that I dress, or go out in public.

In summary, I did not dress very often during college.  I learned a new trick.  Through it all, I was responsible and I am not ashamed of my college years.  I grew a lot, I learned a lot (in and out of the classroom), and I became a better man.

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From → True Stories

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