The Time My Sister Gave Me A Pair Of Pantyhose

7/4/2022

I have not had any notable outings in the last two months. Life seems harder these days. However, I recently remembered a story from my childhood that I apparently have not written about on my blog. I decided, since I have nothing else to post, I would share this story. One Halloween, my sister gave me a pair of her old pantyhose for a costume.

When I was in middle school (when I was 11-13 years old), I was REALLY into Halloween. I was also energized by the scary side of Halloween. Just in case you do not know: Halloween is a holiday that we celebrate in the USA where children dress in costumes and go house-to-house on October 31 and say “Trick or Treat!”. The people of the house give each kid some candy. Halloween has a spooky/scary feel to it. A lot of scary movies are marketed around Halloween. Haunted Houses (businesses where you pay money to walk through a dark place while people scare you) open around Halloween. I found all of this fun!

My friend and I would plan out our Halloween costumes months in advance. I came up with the idea that I wanted to have my face deformed by wearing a leg of pantyhose over my head. I told my sister about my plan. I asked her to give me a pair of her pantyhose when she had some that had a tear in them. One day, while I was in my room, she came to my door and said, “Here,” and she threw a pair of her old pantyhose at me. It was no big deal. She was giving me some trash for me to use as a Halloween costume. I think neither one of us thought much of it. I put them in my sock drawer.

I am a crossdresser. When I was a boy, I started out trying on silky fabrics. Eventually, I tried on other female garments, like pantyhose. Pantyhose make the world feel like it is made out of silk. I immediately loved them. Since pantyhose tear and get thrown away, I would occasionally acquire a pair from the trash can. I would briefly keep the pair of pantyhose hidden in my room. I would try them on occasionally, until I would feel guilty and purge. Pantyhose are easy to hide. There was no way for me to acquire/own/hide other garments. However, discarded pantyhose were relatively easy to acquire and small enough to hide. I think this plays into why pantyhose are an important part of womenswear for crossdressers my age.

I would have never considered keeping my secret pantyhose stash in my clothing drawer. This pair, however, I had no problem putting in my sock drawer. One day, while she was doing laundry, my mom discovered that her son had a pair of pantyhose in his sock drawer. I remember her coming in the dining room and asking publicly with a confrontational tone, “Why do you have pantyhose in your drawer?” I calmly told her the truth, “[My sister] gave those to me for a Halloween mask.” That ended the conversation and the pantyhose remained with me. If she had found one of my other pairs from over the years, I would not have had a casual reaction. I would have been mortified. I find this fascinating. I was not ashamed or afraid. I did not consider hiding this pair. It was just cloth.

I had my very own pair of pantyhose in my legitimate clothing drawer. I tried these pantyhose on at least a couple of times. They were mine to do what I wanted with, kind of. I never wore them openly. If I ever wore them under my clothes, it was not for long. I remember they were a pair of No Nonsense brand pantyhose. In those days, the reinforced panty section of No Nonsense pantyhose had strong and weak spandex strips in a sort of gingham pattern. When I wore them, they looked normal, but when I took them off, the panty section would have 5mm square shaped bunches of the weaker spandex.

Eventually, Halloween approached, and I cut off the leg and tried cutting eye holes in it. It did not work out to be a good mask. They were ruined, and I threw them away. Just like that, my own personal pair of pantyhose was gone…

In retrospect, I wish I had gotten up the nerve to put on the pantyhose under shorts and walk into my sister’s room. She probably would not have noticed until I pointed them out. We could have laughed about it together and I could have commented on how nice they felt. Perhaps doing something like that could have opened a door to trying on something else with her knowledge. Perhaps I could have gotten dressed pretty with my big sister’s help.

The next time I was able to keep a pair of pantyhose in my sock drawer was when I was in my 20’s and I got to wear a female costume for an event. I bought a pair of pantyhose for the costume. I kept them in my sock drawer for a few weeks, before and after the event.

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