About This Blog
Hello. Call me Joey. I am a rather boring, normal person, except that I am a crossdresser. Some people would protest and say that I am a “Fashion Freedom-ist” because I simply try to wear women’s wear as part of my male life. Like many men who crossdress, I have tried to stop being this way for many years and found out that it is not simple.
On this blog, I provide a glimpse into my story/journey. I will try to provide an unbiased view into being this way as I can.
There are three important traits about a crossdresser. Here are mine:
1) I am heterosexual. (I have never had any homosexual thoughts or desires.)
2) I like having male body parts.
3) I do not imagine myself to be a female when I dress.
It is my understanding that most crossdressers share traits 1 and 2 with me. I do not know any statistics, but I believe that I differ from many crossdressers in the third trait.
I do not know why I like to wear women’s clothes. “Why” is the hardest question to answer in life. If I had to commit to an answer, I would say I started due to the feel of the fabrics. Later, the knowledge that I was wearing girl’s clothes became an attraction. Somehow that was rewarding. That attraction lead me to try on things that were pretty no matter how they felt.
I try to dress in such a way as to maintain my masculinity. This is not an expression of my feminine side. This is me being me. I just have unusual fashion tastes — well, for a guy.
I am a husband, a dad, a co-worker, a techie nerd, a Star Wars fan, an American, a bad dancer, a silly household comedian, a fledgling polyglot, a former runner, an inactive videographer, a lover of Mathematics, a family man, a non-reader, a YouTube lover, a man of faith, a crossdresser, and a Wookie.
I still live in secrecy about my crossdressing, for the most part. I go on outings occasionally. When I do, I try to stay far enough from home so that no one I know will see me. I only tend do things that a middle-aged parent would do. I simply like to do it in a dress!
Thank you for visiting!
joeypress 
Perhaps my blog will be of some assistance to you as I believe I understand the questions running through your head with regard to your individuality and your marriage. I would appreciate any comments (good or bad) The most important thing is this:
Stay real and focused and find the balance be you and her.
http://imitationsofreality.com/
Hi,
I’ve enjoyed reading your true accounts. I’ve done some of the same things as you and experienced some of the same feelings. I can tell you about some of my experiences through email. I assume you see my email with this post.
I really relate to your blog…I am in a VERY similar situation and it’s very difficult as my wife is NOT accepting of this at all. I have worn openly a number of times and, surprisingly, have received several positive comments. I have also gotten the snickers/stares/point, but it feels like ME when I am out. I wear all men’s clothing except for shorter ladies shorts (I like to show off my legs…I must admit they are nice) and pantyhose/tights. I love my wife, but I also feel trapped.
I wish my wife understood me better and I would like for her to be more open to just sitting and talking with me about my crossdressing. However, I would not refer to myself as “trapped”. I suppose if she fully indulged my cravings, I would have made more foolish decisions until now. Perhaps her hesitation is a blessing for me! 🙂 I have found that if I try to tell her that I do not want to keep secrets from her that she tries to be reasonable and sit and listen.
I am like you in that I don’t like the hiding. Trapped was a poor choice of words, but I am in between my crossdresser inclination and being honest. Unfortunately, my wife cannot “let it go” I have repeatedly assured that I am NOT gay and have no inclination toward it, but it doesn’t help… She has called me a favor and that hurts.
Hi. I also share your 3 traits. I believe I look best in a skirt, nylons and heels. I’ve no interest in trying to pass as a women, I’m a man who likes to wear skirts. I just flew to San Diego and back and wore a skirt on the flight.
Hi,
Wow I am in a similar situation as you. I have had the chance to wear skirts and shoes though! I think I still love the pantyhose and panties. Not gay at all straight as we come – just like the soft things, things that are nothing more than apparel generally worn more often by women. My beautiful wife knows, has seen me wearing hose, has bought for me on quite a few occasions including panties to try. Has no “real” problem with me wearing, just not in front of people she feels should not know included are are adult kids. You rock dude wear whatever you like and yes…no one actually gives a damn on what others wear generally. Hope your wife accepts and understands soon.
correction – “I have had the chance to wear skirts and shoes though!” Meant to say I have not had the chance to wear skirts and shoes though! skirts I have once or twice and was an okay experience, never worn heels or anything like that (probably twist an ankle). I do offer encouragement to you and anyone else that will try or has got it right to wear heels. I will stick to flat shoes or gothic style boots or sneaker type of shoes. My attitude over the years is – I am not the 1st and will never be and thus am not alone in my interests! All the best to you and the other guys (and wives and families). Life is too short to live being unhappy and having regrets!
I also share the three traits with you. I’ve worn skirts to Walmart, at midnight to 4 am. No one said anything about them.
I just found your blog today. It is very refreshing. I share your three traits. I do, however, like to get fully dressed with boobs, wig and makeup when the opportunity presents itself. Most of the time I am partially dressed.
I do get out once in a while and when I do I tend to fully dress but at my size (over 6′ tall and over 240 lbs with broad shoulders and even taller in heels) I do not pretend that I am a woman. I talk in my normal voice and I have the similar interactions and conversations as I would when dressed as a man except that about a third of the conversations may relate to my dress. Otherwise it will be sports, politics, etc.
Since many of my outings are to safe places such as LGBT bars or lounges the odd part of being me is that I am totally hetero. and very happily married for over 4 decades. I have encountered several partial dressers. One fellow I met on my travels has longish gray hair an neat mustache and goatee beard but he wears some makeup, nice blouses, jewelry, hose and heels, sometimes with a skirt and other times with ladies cut slacks. Another fellow seems to be totally normally dressed with the exception of his stiletto pumps.
I suppose it reallly does take all types.
Pat
First time I have seen your blog I can relate to all three on cross dressing. I certainly enjoy getting out. I would like to think I can pass relatively well although I know this isn’t always true. But it is my fantasy that I do most of the time. I dress to blend with a wig and makeup, which I really enjoy. Never really had a problem maybe a weird look once in awhile. I go pretty much shopping, malls movies, nail salons and the LGBT establishments. I am 5’10” at 165 lbs. So I guess I qualify as a medium to tall girl.
I do get a kick out of getting out and I do like your blog Thanks
Hi there, Thank you for sharing your experiences as you have given a lot of inspiration to us CD’s. I for one have benefited from it and I have recently gone out for the first time in a semi public place (a consignment store) were a couple of people saw me trying out a skirt and blouse with no negative response but smiles.
I’ve been reading your stories starting from your first post and only half way done but my question to you is have you ever experienced any negative verbal comments and how did you react?
My wife first comes to mind. She tolerates my dressing, but is not pleased with it. I have modeled stuff for her and asked if it looked weird. I meant, “Does this skirt look right with this top (or shoes, etc.)?” She just incredulously said, “Yes.” There have been other times with her as well. One of my happiest memories about crossdressing and her was a Halloween when we both crossdressed and went ballroom dancing. She had this look of love in her eyes while we danced. It was wonderful. I was dancing with my wife, I was wearing a dress, and we were in public and on display no less. Yet, no one cared and she was in love with me.
Once two 20 year old women laughed out loud at me. Several times I have noticed snickers (but not recently as of 10/2017).
One time, an older woman was shopping in the same store as me and saw me trying something on. Later, we crossed paths in a shoe store. She spoke to me and said, “I hope you are in a revue.” I responded, “No, ma’am.” She had a rather disapproving look on her face as she walked away.
I have definitely had a few disapproving looks.
Those are all that come to mind after possibly 17 years of outings.
Hi, just came across your blog, and I have read some parts of it. In several aspects I am quite like you are, but in others not. I am also a heterosexual dad, a family man, with a wife that does know about my tendency to crossdress, and who doesn’t like it at all. I don’t like nor dislike my male bodyparts, but would really like to have breasts. I also really like to wear bras. No wigs, no make-up. I have tried it, but it is not my thing. I do have a mustache and a small beard.
I have been outside as well, but mostly late in the evening or even at night, and even then only in very quiet areas. I have made walks in natural reserves, in daytime, but only on weekdays because it’s much more quiet then. I avoid being seen as much as possible. Still some kind of fear. BTW, I am not American, but Dutch.
Reading about your outings, and specifically about the non-events that happened have made me think about being more in the open when dressed. The few times that I have been seen by other people were, like you already mentioned, almost non-events, but I never met kids or teens. When those are in groups they could be really annoying, I’m afraid.
Bedankt voor het bezoeken! Je bent mijn eerste Nederlandse kennis.
I had to use an online translator to do that. I am sorry that I do not speak your heart language. Your command of English is perfect, however!
This sounds like the video for you! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB5RQN2bWeY
Have a great day!
Ran across your site today and find it quite interesting. While I have not gone out in a dress or skirt (other than Halloween), I quite often wear heels with my male clothes. I’m sad to see that you are trending away from heels, but I guess that is the trend for women these days as well. I wish I had the chutzpah to dress as you! Just curious if you have ever visited the HHPlace website? There is a guy there that does almost exactly what you do – womens clothing but not trying to look like a woman. In fact, many of the guys there do similar things, wearing skirts or ladies jeans/pants while wearing their heels. You might enjoy some of the members there.
Hello Ron. Thank you for the reference. I have seen the HHPlace website. Heels are beautiful, and I have worn them. However, they are not a primary thing for me, so I can take them or leave them depending on the outfit. I have large feet. It is hard to find ladies shoes for me. I am also not pouring lots of money into my clothing. Some shoes leave me in pain after 30-60 minutes of wearing. If you have a fix for that, I am all ears. I have a selection of $20-30 shoes. I assume that $100+ shoes are more comfortable. …maybe one day…
Have you seen the SkirtCafe.org website? That is a website where guys like me post about incorporating traditionally women’s garments into their male wardrobe. I have visited there on occasion. There are several men who, like me, wear full outfits made of women’s wear. Many others just wear skirts. Quite a few of them claim to be fully out in public with their “fashion freedom”.
I’m glad I stumbled on to this.
I’ve had crossdressing tendency since I was young.
Recently my wife and I started to explore after 25yrs of marriage and she was very excepting and excited. I’m not sure if I’ll ever go public or wear anything more than lingerie. It is nice to see other straight men who do the same
Hi Joey, I’m Cathy Peterson, mid-60s from LA, and I just saw your comment posted at Stana’s Femulate.org re: her posting my story about ‘going too far’ for Halloween 1970.
I’m happy to include some more details about that evening (for Stana’s blog had to limit it to be just about ‘going too far’ in my outfit). Hard to believe it was 53 years ago, but such an indelible memory because of the circumstances.
Over the course of 4+ hours, probably had 5 derogatory remarks for every ‘nice costume’ remark. Vincent’s mom was born and raised in Italy, only in PA about 4 years then, super devote Catholic. Her comment (in broken English) is still stuck in my mind, “This is no good, should no be wearing stockings and bra and all that make-up”.
Played pin-the-witch-hat (like pin-tail-on-donkey) and while blind-folded and spun around before walking toward the witch poster, someone lifted my skirt from behind and gave everyone a quick peek at my lacy slip and body-suit over pantyhose and panties. LOTS of “whoa there” comments. Mrs. McCorkle got right in my face after I pinned the hat and removed the blindfold, “Oh my, so are you wearing everything?”
Couple of older high school guys made it a point to grab my arms and walk me over to where lots of girls were sitting eating cupcakes, and dropped me into a chair among them saying, “All the girls, including you, sit over here”.
When the guys vs. girls egg-on-spoon relay races were getting organized, same guys and others made very clear I would be on a “girls’ team” – and I did complete with 3 other gals, 2 from my Jr. High group and 1 High School gal.
3 of my Jr. High friends came over when I was playing ping pong and said they had a message from 14-yr old 8th grader Danny Lewis that he thinks I’m cute and really likes the way I look tonight.
Also ended up on girls’ team for the white balloon relay races under black light gauntlet. Had to be back-to-back facing away from partner and keep large balloon in place between us to finish line.
Did have to endure being forcibly pushed into the girls’ bathroom while these 3 guys held the door closed. Probably 6 gals standing in front of the mirrors adjusting their hair, face, costumes – at first “what are you doing in here?” but then laughing and saying “you know that girls sit to pee” and “do you need to borrow a tampon?”. I was in there for probably just 5 minutes but it felt like 30. Susan Campbell did pull me over to the mirror with her friends all doting on my hairstyle and saying I needed to freshen up my lipstick (which they did) and getting me to hold still while this High School gal said, “Some more mascara, let’s get her lashes really thick” – with lots of giggling and asking what size bra I wore and whether I did my own nail polish.
I’d say the 4+ hours were about 50/50 fun and enjoyed myself vs. dealing with comments, slurs, and teasing.
After 11pm people were getting picked up in the parking lot and I had told my older sister I’d get a ride home with someone. No cell phone to call for a ride from her. One chaperone, Barbara (probably mid-30s), offered to give me a ride home with 3 other girls, 2 boys, and her daughter (probably age 10). Put back on my sister’s rabbit ‘chubby’ jacket and shoulder purse, and into the back seat.
Huge Ford LTD – boys sat in front seat alongside Barbara, 3 girls me and her daughter packed in tight in back seat. Next to me Carly had to say, “You know you went way overboard on your costume, right?” Sandy on other side chimed in, “You are never going to live this down”. Denise added, “Don’t listen to them, it’s fine” and Barbara’s 10 year-old daughter simply said, “I like your hair, you’re really pretty” – to which Carly HAD to respond, “See! she thinks you’re a girl” and everyone laughed. I looked at the 10 yr old and she seemed like she didn’t get Carly’s comment, so I just smiled at her.
Dropped off the 2 boys first, then Carly and Sandy jumped into the front seat. Then they got dropped off, so Barbara’s daughter climbed over into front and left me and Denise in back. Barbara’s daughter asked her mom about getting ice cream. Her mom asked me and Denise if we wanted to do a quick stop and get a cone at Dairy Queen. My eyes went wide, no way I’m getting out of the car and going inside. The plan was to get them to-go so I got out and was in line with 4 of us outside window and it was really dark and gave me some cover. Got the cones, back in the car, and dropped me home next.
I said thanks for the ride and opened the door, and final comment from Barbara, “Take my advice, and don’t dress like this again for youth group, okay?”
Wow. Thank you for telling me more of the story. Being crossdressed around your peers is diving in VERY deep! It is especially true being that they were all so young. That’s tougher than probably anything that I have ever done. Barbara seemed so kind and accepting until that last line. (Good story telling on your part!)
I’m still curious to know how your evening at home turned out. How were the conversations? Did you change immediately, or did you get to be pretty at home for some time? Did this change future conversations?
I dressed in a skirt for Halloween at one job. There were a lot of ladies at that job. I was able to talk about women’s clothing some with a couple of the women after that. They did not know that I dressed pretty occasionally. At least, I did not tell them so. As I said on Stana’s page, after I crossdressed for a different event, I said to my mother and to my girlfriend how much I liked the fabrics and pantyhose. But that was as far as I felt I could take it.
I have seriously considered talking to my mother about my crossdressing. She is up in years these days. I may not have many more years with her. I have read where Stana said that she wishes she could have talked to her mother. It makes me think… But I don’t know if it would be worth it. You know?
We live in a lonely people group.
I am glad to meet you Cathy!
Joey
Hi Johanne,
Thanks for your email. I’m happy to make another friend who knows and understands first-hand the many issues involved with a lifetime of crossdressing. My story seemed so unique to me during the ’60s ’70s and ’80s – then in the ’90s the internet opened up to me (little by little) this wider world of people very much like me and I began to make online friends from all over whose journey was the same as mine. I could not believe how many people are out there in all walks of life trying to balance this desire to be feminine.
Quick facts on me. Mid-60s live in LA – feeling feminine and dressing up since age 3. Raised with 2 older sisters, younger sister, divorced mother – we all lived in the home of our twice-divorced Aunt Catherine. Depression-era mother saved everything, including most (if not all) of older sisters’ clothes packed away in 2 large steamer trunks and 3 hanging garment bags in basement. 2 older sisters dressed me up a lot in those clothes – lots of boredom playtime at home during long cold-snowy winter days in western Penn. when there was nothing else to do but be inside all day. Over time being dressed up was more frequent, then our aunt got very supportive, mother was ambivalent.
I’ve now been going out in public as Cathy for over 20 years. Movies, coffee-lunch-dinner, shopping, attending conferences. Go as Cathy to 5 different therapists since 2003. Last 7 years regular Cathy time at nail salon, blow-dry parlors, and day-spa massages all with women who only know me as Cathy. I’ll tell some more details in future emails.
So, tell me about you? Are you comfortable sharing photos on emails with new friends? I simply want to be assured my photos won’t get posted anywhere, but will just be between friends. I have 7 such gal-friends I email regularly, share photos, and have met 3 of them in person various times. So we’ll see where and how our acquaintance progresses, okay?
Look forward to hearing back, -Cathy
I don’t show my face in any pictures of me dressed pretty. I don’t mind if you share pictures with me. I will not share them. Email is not inherently safe, so if some server ever gets hacked, the pictures will be in unknown hands. I do not want to receive dirty, inappropriate, nor illegal pictures of any kind. That’s for sure. 🙂