Crossdressed at Church Again!

8/19/2023

Previously, I visited a Seventh Day Adventist church. Then, I visited it again. Both times, I had to leave to pick up my son, and I could not stay until the sermon. The last time, a lady was very nice to me and I felt like I had made a friend. I decided to go back and stay for the whole service. It was a wonderful experience! I wore my long black dress, a beige cardigan, and black wedge heels. My friend was not there, but many people made me feel very welcome.

Parking Lot

The parking lot was much fuller than on my previous visits. It was almost time for the church service to begin. I walked in among other people as we went to church.

Hall Greeter and Snacks

When I walked in the door, a man met me and greeted me. It seemed like he did not even notice my outfit. He had no hesitation. I did not come early enough for their Sabbath School. It was almost time for the church service to begin. They had some food in a side room and I was invited to go have some.

I went to the snack table. I got some grapes and some cookies. I sat at the row of tables by a young man (16-20 years old). He was hard to hold a conversation with. Maybe he was uncomfortable. Maybe he just wanted to mess with his phone.

While I was seated, I noticed an elementary-school-age girl looking at me from the hall. Later, I noticed that a second girl was standing with her, looking at me. I was seated, and the boy was between the girls and me. Eventually, when I finished, I stood up. They were still there watching me. One girl had a pleasant, relaxed look on her face. The other girl looked like she was staring. After getting their good look at me, they went away.

I discarded my plate and got some water. A woman was also there with her small daughter. The woman introduced herself and her daughter to me. She was friendly and welcoming. She was new in the country.

The Church Service

I walked into the sanctuary (auditorium). Two people that I met last time saw me and waved at me. They initiated. That was amazing! That never happens to me. The room was much fuller than I had ever seen it (perhaps 250 people). The last two times I came, the pastor was away. I think his people may lay out when he is not there. (UPDATE: It was not full on a later visit when the pastor was there.)

I sat on the end of a row near a family. They were Hispanic. They smiled at me and greeted me non-verbally. Almost all of the women in the church were wearing dresses. I was the only man wearing a dress. Someone came up the aisle from behind and placed their hand on my shoulder, and then welcomed me. It was one of the women who had waved at me. I stood up and talked to her for a few minutes. She was the woman from my last visit that showed the most surprise at seeing my outfit. She remembered my name.

By this point, several people had spoken kindly to me in the hallway, a few people in the sanctuary greeted me with waves or smiles. The foreign woman who spoke to me during the snacks sat down behind me. She introduced her husband to me.

The service began. A man and a woman led the singing. There was a small band. The woman on stage was wearing blue jeans. Apparently, the women are not following a strict dress code. It must be a common practice to dress up. The music was mellow and worshipful. I knew a couple of the songs.

They had a special ceremony in which they introduced and commissioned the church members who were selected to lead different departments in the church. I would call these “Lay Leaders”. The pastor commissioned the leaders as well as the congregation for our leader-worker relationships. Then we prayed for them. A lot of people knelt and prayed at their seats.

The pastor taught on a chapter of the Bible. Apparently, he likes to teach a whole book from the Bible from beginning to end, reading and discussing every verse. He did well. My church background is not Seventh Day Adventist. I do not know if they have some conflicting beliefs or teachings from how I understand the Bible. Nothing happened during this service that conflicted.

We stood and sang a final song, and had a prayer.

After Service

The pastor asked the new leaders to go stand in the hall so people could shake their hands. I hesitated at my seat in order to take a picture of myself in the room.

After that, I gathered my stuff. I realized at this point that there was a line to get into the hall. I got in line. The woman beside me greeted me briefly. Then the family in front of me turned around. First the husband shook my hand and greeted me. Then his young teenage daughter and his wife did the same. We stood and talked for a couple of minutes. They were awesome. At the end, the teenager shook my hand again. Then, a woman greeted me from behind. I turned around and she shook my hand. Next, she introduced me to her husband and her ~22-year-old son. Everyone was smiling and eager to shake my hand.

When I got near the new leaders, I spoke to a few of them. They shook my hand and were friendly. Then, I met the pastor. I noticed him look down at my clothes briefly. On this day, he was the only person that I saw do that. He welcomed me and shook my hand. I spoke to a couple other people. I stopped for a moment in the hall.

SDA Statement on Transgenderism

I was rather curious if SDA is pro-LGBT or what. I found this Statement on Transgenderism on the larger church’s official website.

The Close Talker

Suddenly, a 9-year-old girl walked right up to me and said, “I like your dress.” Then she looked down and said, “I like your shoes too.” She was standing so close to me that she probably could see straight up my nose. I thanked her. I stepped back a step. She asked me, “Why are you wearing a dress?” I did not know how to respond. I said, “I guess I am just weird like that.” She asked, “Do you just want to wear pretty clothes?” By this point, she had closed the gap between us. I stepped back.

This little girl kept talking to me. She kept getting closer. I politely said, “You are standing too close to me. Step back a little.” She did and kept talking. She asked me lots of questions and talked fast. I asked her sarcastically, “Am I the first person you have ever met?” Then she asked me, “What’s that?” “My Bible.” “And that?” “My journal.” “And that?” She pointed at my phone and smiled wryly. I made a goofy face at her and said, “A banana!” She saw my little camera and asked about it. I said it was a camera and she asked if she could take a picture. I told her what button to press. She proceeded to take a LOT of pictures in a few seconds.

Eventually, a woman started talking to me and the girl detached. The woman and I talked for a couple minutes. This woman was also new to the church, but not new to the nation. The girl came back with her siblings and introduced them to me. Her little sister showed me a paper craft she had made in children’s church. I continued talking to the adult when the girl’s brother directed her to keep walking. The woman and I finished our conversation and I walked on. A few more people spoke to me.

Outside

Outside, there were a few people standing. I spoke. One of them started talking to me. She was also newly in the country. She was from Nicaragua. I tried to speak in Spanish with her. She was happy to have someone to talk to. She told me that Spanish was not her heart language. She also spoke a local language from her region that I was unfamiliar with. She kept talking to me. I wonder if she now thinks that men normally wear dresses in the U.S.A.. In my experience, Hispanic people who were not born in my country have a welcoming attitude toward me.

One of the lay leaders walked back toward the building. He spoke to us and shook my hand. He invited us to participate in the homeless ministry that he leads. He did most of the talking. He spoke to us as though he thought we were a couple. I did not correct him. I think she may not have understood what he was saying.

Mexican Restaurant

I drove to a Mexican Restaurant. I sat in the parking lot and hesitated. All of the booths/tables by the window were occupied. However, the parking lot was not very full. I swallowed my fear and I walked in. I was happy to find that the restaurant was not full. I was promptly seated away from the window seats. I doubt many people had an opportunity to even look at me.

I placed my order, ate my food, and was ready to go quickly. I waited a couple of minutes for someone to bring me “la quinta” (the ticket). Two women, a mother and her adult daughter walked over to the cash register area. I got up and went to get in line. They looked at me and said hello. They got a bag for their TO-GO boxes. They left, and I paid.

(This mother and daughter were African Americans. In my experience, in the Southern U.S.A., African Americans are another people group who are rather welcoming and even loving toward me.)

Beauty Store

I went to a nearby beauty store to try to find some hair bleach for my leg hair. I did not find anything and exited the store. A woman was outside when I walked out. She started talking to me. She was the mom of the mother-daughter pair from the restaurant.

She said, “I saw you in the restaurant. I wanted to tell you about a person on the Internet who dresses like you, but I cannot find him.” She talked to me for ten minutes. I mentioned that I had just gone to church. Eventually, her daughter came out of the store. The mom complimented me on my outfit and the daughter complimented me on my legs.

We spoke for a couple more minutes and then we started walking toward our cars. The daughter, who had complimented my legs, said, “You should wear a shorter skirt.” I responded, “I was just at church!” We had a good laugh about that.

Beggar in the Parking Lot

There was a woman in a chair at the side exit of the parking lot. She was holding a sign that said, “Hungry. Anything helps.” I stopped to give her some money. I thought it was odd that she was parked in such a low-traffic area in order to beg. Then, I realized that there was a drive-through Automated Bank Machine nearby, and the exit from it pointed right at her position. She was begging at the money source!

I parked my car, and walked to her and gave her some money. I asked her for her name and we spoke briefly. As I walked away, she complimented me on my dress. I got in my car and I complimented her on the pink maxi-dress that she was wearing.

Consignment Store

I visited my friend’s consignment store. We talked for a few minutes. I told her about my church experience. She said that she has several more crossdressing and transgender men shopping at her store these days. We talked for five minutes at least. Then, I used her dressing room to change back into menswear.

My Daughter’s Comment

I went home in menswear. I was animated and talking to my family about my day and other things. My teenage daughter, who does not know that I crossdress, remarked, “Dad must be really happy or in a good mood because of how much he is talking.”