11/3/2018
There is a blog that I follow. It is called Femulate. Stana, the blog’s author, posts a couple times per week. Although, I do not walk the same path as Stana concerning the way I present when I crossdress, I appreciate her content and style. Apparently, I am not alone. Stana’s blog is well followed.
Recently, Stana asked people to send in their favorite Halloween picture. I pondered it and sent in an old image with a link to the blog post on Joeypress from where the image came. It was a picture of the time I volunteered at a clothing store while crossdressed.
Stana featured my picture in one of her posts and included the link to my blog that I had provided. Then, this happened:
10/19/2018
I believe that this is my first opinion post on this blog.
I have noticed something new about my self. I have become opposed to labeling in recent months. To define a label, I will say that a label is a word or phrase used succinctly categorize something or someone.
The relevant label I will start with is “crossdresser”. Over the years, I have been told by Internet persons that I should stop calling what I do “crossdressing” because I maintain a manly presentation when I am dressed in women’s clothing. What I heard between their words was: “Do not call wearing skirts, etc. as a man ‘crossdressing’ because I do that and I do not want to be a ‘crossdresser’. I am not one of those people.”
They were men wearing women’s clothes, but they were, I believe, defending their masculinity by opposing the label “crossdresser”, because, I believe, they were ashamed to carry that label. These men had assigned an unfavorable general description with that label. I had not.
In that thought, I have discovered something that has recently been motivating me toward change!
A label enables someone “completely” describe a stranger in less than a sentence. People are very complicated. A label lets you throw away all of the truth that is disinteresting and lets you summarize a human with a word. That way, no one needs to think about it. It is anti-intellectual of me to use labels, I think. (I made that word up, but apparently, it is a thing. I just looked it up.)
I do not want to be a man who disregards someone based over one facet of their life — that I might not understand correctly!
I propose that when we hear a label, we immediately think we understand a lot about someone when we actually are ignorant about almost everything about them.
Examples of labels:
- Origins: “Oh, that person is [a] (African|Punjabi|Middle Eastern|Mexican|Chinese|Black|White|Russian|American).”
- Beliefs: “Oh, that person is [a] (Muslim|Christian|Amish|Atheist|Evangelical|Conservative|Liberal|Communist|Terrorist).”
- Lifestyle: “Oh, that person is [a] (Hippie|promiscuous|gay|straight|religious|gambler).”
- Situation: “Oh, that person is [a] (homeless|single mom|immigrant|criminal|old|Millennial|manager|HIV positive|alcoholic|uneducated|nerd|poor|rich).”
- Personal: “Oh, Joey is a crossdresser”.
Disclaimer: I am not trying to take sides or support with any of these labels. I am also not trying to make members of one of those labels equal to another label in those groups. I am not trying to do anything here but cram a lot of examples in a small amount of space.
So, now what?
I am tending to pull away from labels. Examples: I do not want to be associated with either major political party in my country any longer. I have changed to a new church denomination. Several of the radio stations on my presets are for stations that target races/cultural groups different than my own.
I am tending to catch myself using labels. This is tough.
I am tending to look deeper to see how right or wrong my pre-conceived notions (prejudices) are. Examples: I visited different churches. I got to know a homeless guy (and it changed my life).
…
I do not know how to wrap up my thoughts about this. I guess I am merely making an observation about myself on a public forum. Maybe I am going through a mid-life crisis. Maybe this is an adult form of puberty. I do not know…
I think labels are being exploited to package us, to guide us to the “proper” marketing, and to control us. I am tired of being “owned” and manipulated. I think labels are being absentmindedly used to limit us. “You cannot do that. Only a <label> would do that.” I think that we do this to ourselves and “they” do it to us as well.
I desire to be free!
10/16/2018
For this week’s grocery shopping outing, I wore one of my favorite outfits, a denim skirt, an orange blouse, a black cardigan, off-black pantyhose, and black shoes.
10/2/2018
I performed our weekly grocery shopping in a skirt again. I also ran a non-grocery errand. I wore a beige pencil skirt, A black top with a built-in cardigan, and black flats.
9/22/2018
My experience as a crossdresser is unique to me. Labels are an attempt to simplify complicated things. I am not explaining the label. I am explaining how I personally feel, think, function, etc. in regards to the impact of my crossdressing on my life in general.
Foundation Facts
This list applies to the state of affairs right now. Many of these facts might never change. Nevertheless, assume that this list is out of date.
9/25/2018
I have shaved my legs for the new winter season. I proposed to my wife that I could do this week’s grocery shopping. I would go to a store that is “far enough” away and do our grocery shopping while crossdressed. She was unsure because nowhere is far enough away to avoid running into someone I know. Once we bumped into a friend when we were overseas. Ultimately, she trusted my judgment and it was a plan. I wore my invisible outfit, a gray skirt, black flats, nude pantyhose, shaved legs, black and white patterned top.
I call this my “invisible outfit” because, when I wear it, most people do not react like they do when I wear other outfits. I assume that this outfit looks like shorts and flip-flops. The colors are not very eye catching. In any case, I estimate that one-fifth or fewer of the people I encounter give me that familiar second look down. I almost always get the second look when I wear a dress, or a long, red, or flowy skirt, or dark pantyhose, or heels.
9/18/2018
I recently bought a new gray and white striped top. I wanted to wear it, and I needed a haircut. Since I seldom get haircuts in menswear these days, I just *had* to wear it… I matched the top with an orange maxi skirt, a blue cardigan, and my wedge heels. I also wore the gray necklace that I recently bought. It is plain enough to not seem girly.
